Instagram Posts

Layout Options


24px


16px


HTML tags are supported in the Title Content and Byline fields. If needed, try adding a "<br>" tag to manually trigger a line break.


Only disable if the image renderer is not displaying the expected output. This will fallback to the browser’s rendering and requires you to take a screenshot.

Title Slide

Rendering

Hold or right click the image to save.

Content Slide

There’s one tradition in the college sports world that surpasses all else. No, it’s not the endless slew of obscure bowl games like the “Panera Bread Bowl” or the “IKEA FÄRGKLAR Bowl”. It’s the Big Ten Mascot Fight Night, an all-out wrestling tournament featuring the big-headed Big Ten mascots we all know and love (or hate, since we’re extremely biased towards our own mascot).

The winner of the 87th annual tournament was none other than our beloved Testudo, who fought through several rounds of brutal brawls to secure the belt at the end of the night. Our hero in a half-shell unleashed his inner Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle throughout the bulk of the bracket, delivering turtle-y tubular pain to a plethora of mascots. He piledrived Purdue Pete, backhanded Brutus Buckeye, and even wet willie-d Willie the Wildcat.

In the championship round, it boiled down to an age-old grudge match between the unbreakable Testudo and the definitely-tripping-on-some-sort-of-drug Penn State Nittany Lion in a cage fight finale. The cat (I guess?) was ferocious, lunging straight for our hero’s weak spots, but Testudo’s shell proved to be too tough to crack, and he suplexed the Nittany Lion so hard the whole stadium shook. Testudo stood victorious with the belt as the Nittany Lion was wheeled off in a stretcher.

Testudo’s triumphant win qualifies him for the upcoming NCAA Monday Night Mascot Smackdown Championship. Last year’s champion, UMBC’s True Grit, the Chesapeake Bay Retriever, won with a sweeping victory after infecting all of the other canine mascots with rabies. Three coyote mascots were humanely euthanized.

Full Article in Bio
Rendering

Hold or right click the image to save.